4 Reasons Intimacy In Postpartum May Be Difficult For You
If you are having a hard time connecting with your partner postpartum, I see you and you are not alone. A recent study showed ONLY 40% of postpartum people found sex enjoyable at 3 months postpartum. If you are part of the 60% that are not finding pleasure and fulfillment in sex, I want to help you find your why and get you connecting with yourself and your partner. I know for me, sex is different after a baby. There are a lot of things to manage here and it’s not easy and effortless anymore. We have a whole toddler running through the door at any second and after he does to sleep we are TIRED.
Here are 4 common reasons that intimacy in postpartum may be difficult for you and what to do if you are experiencing any of these.
Pain during sex
If you are experiencing pain during sex, there could be a lot of underlying issues as to what is causing this pain. Start by talking with your provider and then go from there. I am constantly referring clients to pelvic floor therapy as this is one area that can greatly affects sex postpartum.
Feeling over touched
If you are feeling touched out, talk with your partner about ways they can help you get some baby free alone time to reconnect with yourself.
Postpartum Depression or Postpartum Anxiety
If you are not wanting to have sex/connect with your partner because of PPD/PPA please talk with a therapist. You are so worthy of healing!
Feeling disconnected from your body
If you are not wanting to have sex because you do not feel connected with your own body, you are not alone. It’s okay to be proud of our body and also not feel at home in our current physical form.
Your body just went through a hell of a lot growing a human and bringing them earthside. Don’t be at war with her, she is not the enemy rather you two are a team.
I reached out to my Instagram community for their thoughts and suggestions for intimacy in postpartum and this is what they had to say:
“Take it slow! Lots of communication, clean lube (coconut oil, good clean love, slippery stuff), plenty of gently foreplay prior (it takes women a lot longer to warm up!! And that is NORMAL!), diaphragmatic breathing and calm, nerves can cause pelvic floor muscles to clench and tighten up!”
“Leaking will happen + that’s a okay! Just be prepped for that because it can feel super unsexy. Don’t be afraid to start with masturbation/toys. That’s actually what I recommend to rebuild connection.”
“I LOVED it! The intimacy was even sweeter after the bond of experiencing birth as a team.”
“I had a 4th degree tear so we just did other fun sexy things instead! Take as much time.”
Was sex and intimacy postpartum different for you? I’d love to hear your thoughts!